Ten years ago, Scottish producer and DJ Hudson Mohawke had a major influence on “wonky” electronic music, a subgenre full of rambling and unexpected beats. But he couldn’t know, when he released his 2011 album satin panthersthat he would one day exert a much greater influence on a young man’s love life.
“My girlfriend of two years told me the music I play during sex was weird and a major turn off,” redditor u/TylerLife wrote last week on the “Today I Fucked Up” subreddit. He had curated a playlist to help him keep up with his rhythm in the bedroom and had included Hudson Mohawke’s track “Cbat” – which happened to be his favorite in the rotation. When his partner finally revealed that she didn’t like it, he felt embarrassed and betrayed. Since then, he says, sex has been awkward. “The other day we were having sex with no music, but I was still pushing to the tune that was playing in my head,” he wrote. “She recognized him and asked me to stop.”
“I usually come across this song and find it devastating, she hates the song,” he later admitted to the entire internet. Naturally, people were curious to hear it for themselves. No description compares to the vibe, but imagine the clarinetist in your college band trying to put some funk on his big solo.
The post exploded on Reddit before spreading to Twitter and TikTok, as the thought of regularly having sex with “Cbat” was horrifying to almost anyone with genitals and/or ears. Tyler had really screwed up, maybe even more than he knew. Soon, hundreds of thousands Many people had learned of her romantic woes and laughed at her expense — including Hudson Mohawke himself, who began retweeting memes and clips of people reacting to the story. He also edited his Twitter bio to recommend a different album (“cry sugar is better for sex”) and re-uploaded “Cbat” on YouTube with the description “racing game”, followed by the dolphin emoji, a reference to a listener noting that the song’s synthesizers sound like “robot dolphins”. . The comments section is full of similar jokes.
This virality had other consequences, according to Tyler, who wrote days later that it was all back to his girlfriend and they broke up as a result. He regretted not using “an anonymous name instead of my real name and our real ages”, but defended “Cbat”, remarking that “not everyone can handle” this kind of sonic experimentation and he understands that it is “different”.
Some doubted the whole saga, especially when Tyler said he burned the sex playlist to CD, an anachronistic choice in the age of streaming. Other elements of his digital fingerprint, such as an alleged video of himself demonstrating how to push to “Cbat” shared on a TikTok account that has since been deleted, suggest he may have been telling the truth. We can say with certainty that he shared an entire sex playlist on YouTube (Usher, Kanye West, Shaggy and Flosstradamus appear in the lineup ahead of the Hudson Mohawke finale) and a fucking meme on his Instagram account.
Whatever happened in this guy’s relationship — if he really had one — his version of events quickly turned into canonical lore on the web. He meanwhile pushed “Cbat” to the top of Spotify and iTunes charts, leading one to wonder if Hudson Mohawke wrote the original TIFU confession in order to promote his music. “I wish I was so smart hahaaaa,” he replied on Twitter. In an interview, he clarified that it was not a song he put on a sex playlist himself. Elsewhere, EDM producer Ray Volpe sampled it, and popular gimmick account There I Ruined It mixed “Cbat” with George Michael’s “Careless Whisper.”
Strangest of all, however, r/TylerLife, a subreddit apparently created to discuss Tyler’s bizarre situation and the continuing Mohawke fandom, garnered nearly 2,000 subscribers in two days. A handful of users claim to have tried the “Cbat” method between sheets. One wrote: “Me and my boyfriend tried it. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. 2/10”, adding that “It turned me into a Sahara desert so fast “. Another posted: “I’m going to try the CBAT method tonight, I need help. Guys, do you prefer to play on the main melody or on the drum beat? “
Clearly, we have passed a point of no return. Choices were made, and they led us into a world in which “Cbat” is de facto a sex jam, something you’ll never hear again without imagining some truly bizarre form of copulation. An adventurous couple may be trying it out right now. And despite Tyler’s misfortune, you could say he’s lucky. Whenever the next girlfriend comes along, he won’t have to wonder if they’re a good match. All he has to do is play Hudson Mohawke and ask his honest opinion about it.