Parenting mistakes you make and you don’t even realize it


Being a parent is hard work and it’s okay to make mistakes.

We spoke to the experts who have listed the most common parenting mistakes most parents don’t even realize they’re making.

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Expert reveals biggest mistake parents often make

Dr Naveen Sharma explained that becoming a parent is a wonderful journey, but it also means facing new challenges and learning new things.

The consultant psychiatrist, with over 15 years of experience working in the NHS with inpatients and community settings, said it was no surprise parents make mistakes along the way.

Having worked with parents struggling with their mental health, the expert understands the pressure parents put on themselves and its impact on their mental health.

He said: “As a father of two, I have a lot of experience dealing with parenting errors and I have also learned from the mistakes of other friends and colleagues.

“In the age of social media, there are a lot of ‘seemingly perfect parents on Insta and Tiktok’ and a lot of people happy to offer their ‘advice’ and reviews.

“So, it is essential that parents know that everyone makes mistakes and are not being too hard on themselves. “

Dr Sharma, who co-founded Bluebell Baby Monitor with two other dads, has revealed the most common parenting mistakes most don’t even realize they’re making.

IRREALISTIC EXPECTATION OF A PERFECT PARENT

The psychologist explained that most parents make the mistake of having an unrealistic expectation of perfect parenthood.

He explained that taking care of a baby 24/7 that is totally up to you is difficult.

He said: “When parents inevitably face challenges, they can start to blame themselves and feel guilty for not enjoying parenting.

“It’s important to know that everyone’s experiences are different and that there will be pitfalls along the way. “

OBSESSION TO SLEEP

Dr Naveen Sharma also said that sleep has become a big topic and parents can become obsessed with it.

The reality is that babies sleep little and often unlike adults, and each baby would have their own unique sleep pattern.

He said, “Putting too much pressure on yourself to make the baby sleep through the night would only add to your frustration.

“That doesn’t mean you aren’t trying to maintain a good sleep routine, but expect to take two steps forward and one step back.

“Try to take naps; and share nighttime meals and diaper change chores if you can.

COMPARE CHILDREN

The psychologist went on to explain that parents can be obsessed with comparing a baby’s growth and milestones with other babies – without even realizing it.

But every child is different and grows at their own pace – even siblings can be completely different.

FORGET THAT CHILDREN LEARN BY WATCHING YOU

Dr Naveen Sharma also explained that many parents make the mistake of forgetting that children learn by watching them.

The expert said: “Children are indeed like sponges when it comes to learning new things and new behaviors and you are their greatest role model.

“Pay attention to what you are doing and how you behave in front of them, especially how you deal with frustration. “


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He added: “There is nothing wrong with making mistakes because that is how we learn. Expect to make mistakes and don’t be too hard on yourself or compare your experience with others.

“As children learn from you, you can also learn a lot from your children by observing and talking to them as they grow up. “

FORGET THAT CHILDREN ARE GROWING UP

Elsewhere, parenting expert and former super principal Leon Hady, of Guide Plus, said working with parents for more than a decade in schools and tuition centers has given him a better understanding of the mistakes parents make. with the children.

One of the common mistakes is when parents forget that children are growing up. He said the main problem is that parents always expect their children to react the way they did when they were toddlers.

He commented: “It’s condescending to kids and creates a real disconnect where kids become dismissive of parents as they grow older and this is not recognized in the change in parent behavior.”

BELIEVE YOUR CHILD WILL BE THE SAME AS YOU AT SCHOOL

Parenting expert Leon also added that some parents make the mistake of believing their academic abilities are tied to their child’s – and he finds that the most heartbreaking.

Most parents haven’t heard of the growth or neuro-plasticity mindset, so unfortunately they say things like “well, I’ve never been good in school, so I don’t. am not surprised that my child is no different. ”

He said, “This is wrong, every brain can learn and change when challenged.

“Your abilities and your opportunities or your lack of opportunities are not a hindrance for your child unless you do so. Stop believing they can’t because you couldn’t (and for the record, you still can!) “

DO NOT REWARD YOUR CHILD’S POSITIVE BEHAVIOR

Meanwhile, licensed child psychologist from online tutoring platform GoStudent Lisette Kuijt explained that parents are always learning.

But there are ways to act that you might not immediately think of adopting that will help you better understand how and why your child behaves or reacts in certain ways.

She said: “It’s important to remember that parenthood is a journey and that every day you and your children learn how to best communicate and get the most out of each other.

“Confidence and self-esteem are very fragile in children. Every day they encounter moments of failure or rejection at home and at school.

“It is also very important to praise or reward your child’s positive behavior! This will create a positive bond between you and your child and also increase the chances of this positive behavior happening again! “

DO NOT HELP YOUR CHILD UNDERSTAND HIS EMOTIONS

Child psychologist Lisette also added that some parents make the mistake of not helping their child understand their emotions.

Young children have a hard time verbalizing their emotions – when they are angry they cry, when they are sad they cry – but it can also be difficult for them to understand what they are feeling and why they are feeling it.

Lisette explained: “The next time your child cries, for example because his brother took his favorite toy, try to name the emotion he is feeling and why he is feeling it: ‘You feel angry. because your sister took your toy.

“It will help your child develop emotional intelligence. “

BEST PARENT ADVICE

  • Consulting psychiatrist Dr Naveen Sharma said parents shouldn’t believe everything they see on social media / internet and compare their experiences with others.
  • He also revealed that parents shouldn’t be afraid to let kids scramble for a bit, rather than immediately jumping up and telling them what to do. Children have excellent problem-solving skills and would often understand it if given the chance.
  • Finally, the expert explained that parents should always seek help from friends, family or any other professional if they are having difficulty.

Dr Sharma said: “Many parents continue to struggle on their own and leave it too late to seek help if the going gets too tough.

“But, remember, what worked for someone else might not work for you and your baby! “

In other parenting news, experts reveal why you should NEVER threaten to leave your child behind when they are having a tantrum.

And baby sleep techniques that REALLY work, experts say – and parents shouldn’t bother with

In addition, this nursery nurse explains what she means when she says that your child has been “a monkey” or “very vocal”.

Doctor says parents should never take their kids’ phones off – even if you’re worried they’re too young


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